too dirty for the internet?

…or at least a part of it.

came home yesterday to find that not one, but two of my recent images were deleted from ModelMayhem.com.

Don’t get me wrong, it certainly doesn’t bother me to know I make images that push buttons…I consider that one of the more interesting parts of my job, and I wish I could manage it more often. What annoys me is how utterly stupid sites like MM (and DA too) tend to act when they’re censoring people’s work. This is what ModelMayhem posts in one’s mailbox when they censor an image:
“You had too much (or too little) of sump’n sump’n in the following photo. It has been removed from your portfolio.

Thanks for your cooperation.”

Seriously now, what the fuck is that? You can’t tell me straight up what about the image caused it to be censored? If you’re going to censor people’s work out of hand, at least act like you believe in what you’re doing. But that’s just the point: moderated sites don’t believe in what they’re doing, or else they’d do it openly or at least be able to explain/defend what they do; maybe even communicate with the individual being censored on some intelligent level. Instead they opt for the vaugest terms, offered after the fact and signed by “the helpdesk” or “the moderator.” I don’t know about you, but when I think I’m doing the right thing, I cheerfully put my name on it, nice and big for people to see…Aren’t you moderators proud of the job you do?

But we already know the answer, the moderators don’t even believe in what they’re doing; If they did, people like me wouldn’t even be allowed on their sites in the first place. The fact is that sites like MM and DA don’t just want me to post my porn early and often, they need me to do so…Because people like me drive these sites. Without perverts like me, MM would be nothing but 5′ 3″ wanabe models suffering from “Tyra Poisoning” and DA would be nothing but bad anime sketches and flowers. I guess the reason I still hang out here (and on MM) is that one of these days, the moderators will slip and admit it, and I can’t miss that.

 

plea.

 

Venus.

 

razor.

 

 

True Story

The first thing i noticed was how her skin smelled just the way it looked:  Darkly sweet with the hint of spice that i just couldn’t place.  Floating on top of her natural scent was that mixture of cigarette smoke and beauty product that has said “desire” to me since i started shooting women in the little studio at my old college.  I took a deep breath to savor the smell as she took my glasses between her thumb and forefinger.  She examined them gently a if they were some precious stone.  “Can you see without these?”  she asked.

“Only a little, Miss,”  i said softly, feeling out of breath as i held my eyes down.  “Only close up.”  Her soft, pale lips curled into a smile…the kind that usually says “I know a secret.”  She pulled the frames from my face and sent them on the dresser she was leaning against.  “Kneel,” she said, resting her hands on my shoulders.  As i sank to my knees, my eyes took in the length of her body, barely clad in black halter, boy shorts and patent leather boots.  As i settled to the floor, my gaze was met with the thick shaft of her cock, matte rubber and strapped securely in place.  i photographed her wearing it the second day in Tampa and was as awed by it’s beauty then too.  It was dauntingly wide at its base and gracefully tapered to a narrow tip sculpted to mimic an actual penis head.  I took another breath and scent of her skin gave way to the perfume of her sex.  Knowing she was as excited as i made me smile.  “Open,” she ordered, taking a handful of my hair in her hand.  I reached with my tongue to caress the rounded tip of her cock, savoring the dark taste as i glanced up at her.  She loosened her grip and looked down at me, her expression a mix of delight and affection.  I took the length of her cock into my moth, breathing in sharply and swirling my tongue around the shaft.

i don’t know if we were prepared for the intensity of the scene — what came next was a blur of hands.  Hers on my face and in my hair, coaxing, caressing, forcing, guiding me up and down along her cock.  Mine, holding onto her waist and thighs, fingertips running along the spot where her hips plunge to her mound, hoping to find a sensitive spot to add to her pleasure.  All this as i filled my mouth with her cock, slow then fast, the slow again, then fast, moaning and gasping.

i don’t know how long it lasted — minutes?  hours?  Suddenly i felt a shudder run the length of her body (did i make her come?  did i hurt her somehow?) as she grabbed my shoulders and pushed me backward against the foot of the hotel bed.  Not sure of where i was, i struggled to focus my eyes, remembering my glasses sitting on top of the dresser, miles away for all the good they were dong me.

I think she realized i needed to see her, needed to know where i was because she knelt down to me and brought her face close to mine.  She placed a hand over my heart, which was racing by now.

“Calm down, calm down,”  she said softly.  “You’re alright.  You’re safe.”

“i just want to please You, Miss,”  I (think I) said.

“And you do,” she whispered, taking me into her arms, pressing her cheek to my own.  “You are a beatufiul man.  So giving and bottomless.  You’re an amazing artist and an incredible person.  I love you,”  she said, her voice sinking to a throaty whisper.

“Thank You, Miss.”  I whispered back.  “Will You kiss me?  Please.”

I saw her eyes look up, seeking permission of Her Master to kiss me.  The touch of her lips to  mine is the last thing I can tell you about.  Every thing else is a blur.

 

wand.

 

pinned/pegged

 

state of the art…

I used to have a lot more to write regarding my work. I’m not sure when that changed, but apparently it’s a good thing because i’m totally happy not only with the current work, but i’m also pleased at the direction i see it going in the forseeable future. As i type this, my trip to NYC and then Tampa for FetishCon week is just under a month away…and i’m already starting to plan trips in october and november (NYC both times). I’m also thinking about a shooting/play trip to San Francisco in the new year as well as a visit to a very special person in Phoenix…I just need to make sure i can find enough people to work/play with to make it worthwhile. The only thing i can imagine that would make things better is to suddenly find some open/reliable people to shoot with locally, but that’s crazy talk..I live in Pittsburgh, remember?

Just as exciting as the new photographic opportunities are the chances materializing to actually play myself. Having been an observer for so long, the chance to experience the thins my work discusses is totally thrilling. I need to make sure that i don’t get so caught up in taking fotos that i forget to take my turn.

i guess the obvious next hurdle is finding a way to make the work pay — or at least pay for itself. I’m pretty much the world’s worst businessman and the very idea of self-promotion makes my skin crawl…Anything more than a blog comment or tweet is just not happening with me. i’ve known for a long time that what i need is a marketing agent/manager; someone who believes in my work and its potential and is aware of how (and willing to) best exploit it for our mutual gain. Once or twice a year i come across someone who might fit the bill, but it never seems to get very far off the ground. I’m wondering if i spend a bit more time walking the convention floor and talking to people in Tampa i might just find my own personal Col. Tom Parker — there might also be someone in nyc who might be interested…they’ve already asked me about meeting during my next trip, so who knows?

i just read this back and it dawned on me that i still haven’t had anything to say about creative matters. This could normally be a bad sign, but it’s not. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever had that much trouble establishing or maintaining creative direction: With me it’s always been a question of getting the logistics under control: Finding the right people to shoot and the right places to shoot them. i don’t want to jinx, but somehow or other i’ve managed to get myself into a near-perfect situation in nyc — i’ve established a nice group of people who dig me, dig the work i’m doing and totally enjoy being part of it (eg: a bunch of kinky exhibitionists). Knowing I can depend on them makes it freasible/justifiable to fly to the city every 8-8 weeks and book a room for a day’s shooting, sometimes two. I won’t lie: it’s just a thrill being able to jet away from the mundane realities of life for 24-36 hours and be totally immersed in kink and crativity. A day of totall freedom every month or so is definitely a good thing for me.

Now i find myself wondering if I can work the same logistical luck in other cities: Philly comes to mind as does Chicago and San Francisco — not long ago, someone told me my work said “San Francisco” to them…is there room for one more kinky photographer there? Am I that photographer?

 

Marks.